Donnie's Journey

Success?

2009-09-08T09:20:00.001-07:00

There are such temptations as a pastor when it comes to church. Most of these are connected to our insecurities and pride. We can so quickly wander from keeping the main thing the main thing. We begin to redefine what success is; the number people on any given sunday, how many people are involved in ‘ministry’ as if ministry was something that happened only on church time, did people find the sermon entertaining and practical (although the call to follow Christ never promised to be practical but it has been called foolish!), were people happy and energetic when the service was over....again sarcastically we assume that when God moves we feel all warm and fuzzy...I’m not sure that is what Isaiah felt when we saw Christ. You get my point...we make common assumptions as to what success is that have absolutely zilch to do with Jesus and the display of the Glory of God. Usually it is more about making me feel better that someone took the time to come so that I could feel my time in the bible was not a waste this week....after all I only read the bible to write a sermon anyways....more sarcasm.

Where did we get so bent out of shape about success, I mean really think about it....We have been called to preach a foolish message to dead people in hopes that they would hear it....the last time I checked I didn’t get a response from the dead guy...and not only hear it but embrace it, respond to it and rejoice in it. We have fallen into the pattern of the world: bigger is better, speaking your mind and believing in absolute truth is arrogant and we better set goals and make sure that they are measurable so that we can recognize success when it happens but again it is measuring success according to what we think it is.

Have you ever thought about it, we are the body of Christ because of a supernatural work of the Grace of God. It is impossible to put God’s grace in a box like some quantifiable substance. God is infinite and His grace is infinite. God is all powerful and His grace is All powerful. Once we had not received mercy and now we have received mercy. What is impossible with man is possible with God. Instead of running around trying to measure and define success I wonder if we could take a lesson from the Apostles and devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word (Acts 6:4).

Sometimes I think that we are so insecure that we want to create success so that we will not feel insignificant. We desire to have the praise of men....I mean we wouldn’t say that...like someone would admit that they are insecure... but in reality it might be the admission of it that shows that we really aren’t insecure...what was I saying...Oh yah...like it is a big deal to have some sinner think that another sinner is good because they did something that was tainted with sin. Unless the Lord builds His Church the laborers labour in vain. Now is that not refreshing that the success of the church is not about me but it is all about God. We have been called to be faithful in believing in Christ. We have been called to proclaim the word of God because we believe that it can actually change people...’so faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ’ (Romans 10:17). ‘For the God who said, ‘Let there be light,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Christ’ (2 Corinthians 4:6).
Anyways you get the gist...I better stop or this will turn into a sermon!!! Blessings [From Success?]

Why Not Church?

2009-09-05T10:15:00.001-07:00

Over the last few years I have witnessed ‘mature’ christians decide to sever their relationship with a particular body of believers (church). Most times it is for very good reasons; bad theology, manipulative leadership, legalism, abuse of power, unwillingness to listen and the list could go on. Once they decide to leave there is a decision to take some time away to heal and so church takes on a different look. Walks on the beach, yard work, sitting on the deck with a great cup of coffee and a book (Christian of course), family time or just sleeping and lazing the day away, if that can be called church...we know it really isn’t It’s starts out as a time for healing but ends up becoming a habitual ritual of selfishness.

The reason I use such harsh words is because it is completely inconsistent with the gospel to isolate ourselves from other believers and be under the preaching of the word of God, in person. Christ came to break down the dividing wall of hostility between people. He came to make us one. Think of all the imageries that God has created to show connectedness, or dependency for the sake of demonstrating His sufficiency, his headship. There is: The Body of Christ; the Vine and ‘we’ the branches; the Household of Faith; a Temple with each of us being one of the bricks; Marriage; Adoption into a family; Kingdom; Priesthood and others. Then there are the scriptures of assumption; ‘and on the first day of the week when you come together’. You would find Jesus in the temple weekly to hear the word read and then to stand up a declare that He was the fulfillment of that word. There does not seem to be any indication in the NT that believers would ever not consider meeting weakly in an organized fashion, the concept was foreign. Or what about brothers and sisters in other countries under intense persecution who are executed, slaughtered for wanting to be together on the first day of the week to celebrate the Lord’s supper, worship Christ and hear from His word.

Forgive, Forbear, have compassion, show kindness, humility, meekness and above all put on love. This is the call of God on His children. They require interaction and cannot be attained insolation. He knows that we will be hurt and hurt, be frustrated and sin against each other, that is why He has given us His spirit to show that we are spiritual people, that we have the supernatural living in us, that the love of Christ can compel us to love the unloveable. It takes no supernatural grace to isolate yourself from your sinful brothers and sisters and then we seek to justify and spiritualize our actions but it is not of God, it is of the flesh. You miss out on blessing your brothers and sisters and being blessed as God has made us to be conduits of His grace to each other. When we step away we are not trusting in the mediatorial work of Christ, we begin to walk counter to the gospel and God’s intentions. The sad part is that in not trusting Christ to be our savior in this situation the testimony of Jesus’ glorious grace is marred.
Each of us have been made uniquely by God and in His image according to His wisdom. We need to stop trying to fit people into the image, our image, of who we think they should be. We must humble ourselves and once again come to the cross and ask for God’s Spirit to once again reign. [From Why Not Church?]

Forgive As You Have Been Forgiven

2009-09-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

The question that I pose to myself this morning is this...Why is it so hard to forgive when you have been hurt? As children of the Almighty Holy Forgiving God we know that we are to “forgive as we have been forgiven”. But why is it so difficult?

Luke 7:47—But he who is forgiven little, loves little, and he said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’ The woman that Jesus was speaking to was a woman of the world, having a reputation of being a sinful woman of the street. Many families could have been destroyed by this prostitute. The Only way we can forgive with that magnitude of greatness that we have been called to is to see the magnitude of forgiveness that we have received. To will ourselves to forget because that would be the right thing to do is devoid of the love that makes it praise. To forgive out of a hearts response to the forgiveness we have received from Christ is worship, it is where Christ is exalted.
Forgiveness is my visible expression to the offender that I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ because I have been forgiven far worse..offending a Holy God.

August 12, 2009

2009-09-04T21:34:00.001-07:00

We were hiking up Paradise Meadows the other day. As we sat down for lunch we were joined by the ‘Whiskey Jacks’. These are small birds that love to borrow you lunch if you let them. If you hold our your hand, they will land on it and eat what ever you might be offering. They have become so bold that it makes eating your lunch somewhat of a challenge. You can wave

your hands, yell, make a fool out of yourself, and all this to no avail.

It struck me that this is how accustomed we can become to sin. We become so comfortable with it that we do not see the warning signs of danger. Brothers and sisters in Christ are waving at us and warning us but to no avail. We grieve the Spirit so much that we have become oblivious to his warnings.
[From August 12, 2009 ]

John Newton on Calvinism

2009-09-03T18:10:00.001-07:00

John Newton
Calvinism

“I am an avowed Calvinist; the points which are usually comprised in that term seem to me so consonant to Scripture, reason (when enlightened), and experience, that I have not the shadow of a doubt about them. But I cannot dispute; I dare not speculate. What is by some called High Calvinism [or Hyper-Calvinism] I dread. I feel much more union of spirit with some Arminians than I could with some Calvinists; and if I thought a person feared sin, loved the Word of God, and was seeking after Jesus, I would not walk the length of my study to proselyte him to the Calvinist doctrines. Not because I think them mere opinions, or of little importance to a believer—I think the contrary; but because I believe these doctrines will do no one any good till he is taught them of God. I believe a too hasty assent to Calvinistic principles, before a person is duly acquainted with the plague of his own heart, is one principal cause of that lightness of profession which so lamentably abounds in this day, a chief reason why many professors are rash, heady, high-minded, contentious about words, and sadly remiss as to the means of divine appointment. For this reason, I suppose, though I never preached a sermon in which the tincture of Calvinism may not be easily discerned by a judicious hearer, yet I very seldom insist expressly upon those points, unless they fairly and necessarily lie in my way.”

Christian Community

2009-09-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

What has become of Christian community. The 'me, me' attitude of the world has fallen into the lap of the church. We begin to define community based on what it is that we get rather than the call of God on our lives to give. To give the grace that we receive from Him back into the lives of our brothers and sisters in Christ and beyond.

The problem, the lack of true Christian Community, has arisen because of our tireless efforts and demands in seeking and finding community....this is the wrong pursuit. Have have been called by God, empowered by God through His Spirit not to seek community, but to seek 'Communion' with God Himself.

True Christian Community can only exist and happen when the members of that community are finding 'communion' with God in being alone with God. It is there that are hearts are filled up with His graces, it is there that we are humbled, and it is there that we are reminded that we have been called to serve. It is in serving each other the graces of God the we ourselves have received through Christ that we become a Christian Community, because it is there that Christ is magnified and exalted. This is 'Christ'ian community!

What Do You Believe About Death?

2009-08-07T10:08:00.003-07:00

This week I was forced to contemplate my own mortality.....and what I believe about life and death. Do I believe that I will fall into the deepest sleep only to one day be awaking by the loving touch and voice of Jesus. Do I believe that death is not the end but a doorway where our faith will be shed as we gaze by sight on our Savior. Do I believe that death is satan’s last attempt to discourage my soul or the call of God summoning me into His presence. What do I believe? I believe that Jesus Christ has swallowed up death and removed its sting! I believe that Christ has risen and is Victorious and I am in Christ so death no longer has a hold on me! I believe in Jesus alone is life!

The Return of Christ

2009-07-06T10:27:00.001-07:00

Last night or should I say early this morning God displayed the spectacular. Flashes of lightening lit up the sky exposing all the darkness. It was the thunder that shook the dust mites out of my soul, and woke up my children to a terrified state....such power, I could feel the house shake under the voice of the Lord. My heart began to tremble with an anxious anticipation of the ‘Coming of God’. It was as if deep down in my soul I was wondering what small voice I would hear. Would it be ‘Well done good and faithful servant enter into the Joy of Your master’? Filmstrip after filmstrip playing through my conscience. I found myself quickly falling into a mindset not based on the righteousness of Christ. Will I be good enough? Will I have done enough? Will he be happy with me? So quickly I began to see myself making my appeal based on me rather than on Christ.

What a testimony of how much work is left to be done on my soul by the hands of God as he speaks his thunderous life changing words into my soul revealing his glory and molding me into the image of Christ!.

We Really want a loving God of Wrath

2009-01-29T00:02:00.000-08:00

We focus so much on the love of God because we have an intense desire to be loved, to be made much of someone that can change our lives. I wonder however if we also long for a God of wrath but do not even realize it. To serve and only love a God who loves everyone, all the time, no matter what, wouldn’t that be a bit of a problem.

Suppose one day I am at the fall fair with my son. He has just turned 6 and to him he has just become a man. I give him five bucks to get us an ice-cream and some little vendor. He goes and stands in line with the $5 bucks dangling from his fingers. Standing in line dwarfed by adults He kind of stands out in this big forest of trees.

Off to the side a young man, disheveled, eyes darting about and beads of sweat forming on his brown on this autumn day, is staring at my son. Before I know it he lunges at my son creating a sea of confusion tackling him to the ground stealing my 6 year olds ice-cream money. Would should I do as a father, what should my response be, what is my course of action?

To answer that question maybe I should place myself in the position of the child who needs his fathers protection from a drug crazed addict in need of a fix. As I am attacked what do I wish the response of my Father would be who is waiting for me on the picnic bench. I would hope that my father would become concerned and angry enough that he would protect me, that he would arouse himself from his vantage point and fight for me, I am his family, his flesh and blood. I would hope that he would use his energies to aggressively encourage my assailant to leave me alone.

As much as we want a loving God we also desire a God of wrath who will be for us, protect us, guard us, fight for us and destroy our enemies. We desire someone who will fight on our behalf and this has been most greatly displayed in God sending the great warrior and king Jesus Christ who not only has loved me but has loved me so much that he died and rose again that he might forever conquer and destroy my enemies with the fierceness of His wrath. Is that not good news...that if God is for me who can be against me.

I Wish I was a Fish

2008-11-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

Jonah is an amazing book about rebellion, walking away from God and God's divine deliverance. I find myself being able to relate to Jonah, a man who knows what it is that God has called him to do and walks away in the opposite direction...away from the presence to the Lord. God in His providential rule brought Jonah back on course and brings me back in like manner. But I wish I was more like the fish in the story.

God tells the fish to swallow Jonah and it does. God tells the fish to go on a 250 mile journey and it does, God tells the fish to puke Jonah up on the shore and it does....there is no arguing, there is no negotiating like my two year old, there is just obedience, blind obedience.

Jonah didn't like what God was asking him to do so he decided he would go a different direction exercising his wisdom over the ways of the creator of the universe. Although I find myself acting a lot like Jonah I wish I was more like a fish.

Every Good and Pertect Gift Comes From the Father Above!

2008-09-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

Grace, common grace, every good thing, enjoyment, pleasure, provision (food, clothing, cars, homes), blessings, ability (physical, mental, spiritual) is a result of the grace of God. All this flows from the fountain, God Himself, as His goodness overflows to His creation. How quickly I find myself filling up and living on all of these graces as if I thought they were from me, mine. Spending and being spent on drinking in these gracious gifts without acknowledgment of the fountain from which they flow.

Do you not know that you body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). I become so in love with living life and life itself, my affections find themselves wrapped around self enamored with the gifts and the glitter of worldliness that my eyes barely acknowledging my gracious Father, the generous giver of all good things.

Before you know it the chapters and years of life have passed by, they are gone and with it all the opportunities to expose and display His generosity to those around us. We spend our lives feasting on the gracious gifts of our father becoming so obese we can no longer move for Him. We are such consumers of His generous grace when we have been called to be stewards (1 Peter 4:10), stewards who house the grace of God looking for opportunity to pour that grace into the lives of those around us.

We spend our time hording this amazing grace, but such grace was never meant to be kept to itself. It is infinite and the more that we give, spread and display the more of its newness we receive. The Lord Jesus Himself said, 'it is more blessed to give than receive'.

Time and again scripture refers to God's children as vessels, clay pots, that everyday common tupper-ware container used for the meaningless. You never put left-over meatloaf in a tupper-ware container to stay for an eternity, it is put in there until the next opportunity that it might be taken out and nourish (if that is possible with meatloaf) some unsuspecting hunger pain.

Jonathan Edwards once said, 'For certainly God does not plant vines in His vineyard except for the fruit which He expects they should bring forth. He does not hire laborers into His vineyard but to do service. They who live only for themselves live in vain, and shall at last be cut down as cumerers of the earth'.

Instead of hording His grace for self I must live asking the question with earnestness what the Lord would have me to do with the genreous grace the He has given me, and then live with all my might spreading that generous grace to those around me in hopes that those around me become another conduit of God's gracious goodness.

Oh to be 'Born Again'

2008-09-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a good friend this morning who has just become a dad for the first time and I was reminded of how amazing it is to be 'born again', to be brought from death to life, to have the hand of God give me a new heart that desires Him.

I remember when my son was born and how hard it was for that little guy to be pushed into this big old world. There was much anguish, pain, and blood as every ounce of energy that my wife could summon was put forth to bring in this life.

How tragic it has become when we take salvation, coming into right relationship with God and boil it down into some little prayer, or sing some heart warming song after a week of sleeplessness at camp. 'I have decided to follow Jesus'. It took the Sovereign power of the God of the universe to bring me to life. There was blood spilled as the Son of God was crushed and bruised for my sin as God's infinite eternal wrath was quenched that I might be reconciled, me a sinner to Holiness itself.

To be made alive in Christ, to be given new birth into the things of God, to be given a new heart of passons for ht things of the spirit, to be regenerated into a new creation is an impossibility outside of divine Sovereign power, wisdom, and love.

Amazing Love (And Can It Be)
Charles Wesley

And can it be that I should gain an interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain? For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be that Thou, my God, should die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be that Thou, my God, should die for me?

He left His Father's throne above; so free, so infinite His grace!
Emptied Himself of all but love,and bled for Adam's helpless race!
'Tis mercy all, immense and free, for O my God, it found out me.

Amazing love! How can it be that Thou, my God, should die for me?

Long my imprisoned spirit lay fast-bound in sin and nature's night.
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray; I woke-the dungeon flamed with light!
My chains fell off, my heart was free!
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!

Amazing love! How can it be that Thou, my God, should die for me?

No condemnation now I dread. Jesus, and all in Him, is mine!
Alive in Him, my living Head, and clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

'Amen!'

My Fatherly Love Reveals The 'Fathers' Love

2008-08-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how much it is that I love my son considering how obstinate, rebellious and sinful he can be towards me, and yet there is nothing that I would not do for him. I was wondering how much greater my love to him would be if there was no sin hindering or bringing deceit into the mix, mine or his.

Words like powerful, intimate, free, sacrificial, otherness, honor, intense and the list could go on. There would be no questioning of motives and likewise all our intentions towards one another would be undefiled and pure, putting each others interests ahead of our own. How strong and indissoluble that father-son relationship would be, it would be perfect.

Suppose some evil jerk, high on himself decided he was going to lay a beating on my two-year old son with out reason, but simply because.... I can well imagine that all 153.4 lbs of this skinny dad would start flayling until somebody was hurt. I would either kill the guy or die trying, the second being the more likely.

Well God the Father and His son do have and have always had that white hot, holy, perfect intimate relationship. If the picture is to be complete, I am the evil jerk high on himself living passionately to looking out for all 153.4 lbs of skinny. The amazing part in this perfect love story between 'The Father' and His son is that God laid all of His hurt on his perfect son and then crushed him that I might be spared by the infinite weight of His wrath.

The more I grow in loving my son and daughter, and the more intense my feelings grow for them, the more I see how amazing His grace is towards me in Christ! And the more I see how amazing is that love, that has saved my soul!!

A Glimpse of Grace

2008-08-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

I always thought that I was one of those, slow to get angry type of people. Sure I can get a little frustrated and quickly worked up about something, but angry, that is not what I would have classified myself as and then I became a dad. Now don't get me wrong I love being a dad and would not change it even if hell could freeze over. But being a dad has scrapped off my shiny layer of niceness and revealed the ugly, it's like scrubbing off the thick makeup of a beautiful model revealing that she is nothing more than a monkey.

A few nights ago as we met as elders and deacons I asked the guys a question. 'Do you think that God gets angry with His blood bought children when they sin?' I mean I know that God has saved me by his grace, but is he really saving me by His grace. The bible is quite clear that I was dead, blind, and an object of the wrath of God. I was in the grave of sinfulness without a Godward desire to be found and it was grace that said let there be light and I saw the glory of God in the face of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:4-6). Really, God breathed life into my soul, I get that, that is something that I can wrap my prideful cranium around, but living by grace in all the details of life that is where the being saved by grace is lived out (conformed into the image of Christ). After all doesn't God bless me when I do good things and then not bless me when I screw up.

But wait a minute, if that is how I am living out my faith then I am not believing in the gospel anymore which is; I am a sinner who has offended the Holy Sovereign King of the universe, and because of this sinning, not being Godward, being ungodly, I am deserving of the eternal extinguishing wrath of God. Yet God in His gracious mercy has caused me to be born again into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:4), and He did this when I was a sinner, when I was His passionate enemy.

After all if God created me in His image, and God is like me and I get angry at my son for running his sister over with his motorcycle (radio flyer tricycle) then surely God gets angry at me when I sin or just do something that is completely stupid. After all wasn't God created in my image?

My point is that even in the most spiritual act, or the most sinful, my standing before God is not determined on anything that I do, but only on Christ. I am daily deserving of death but Jesus has not only made me guiltless before the holy God of the universe, but He has clothed me in His own righteousness. Not only has He paid for my sin, past, present and future, in the sight of God I am not just sinless, but holy and blameless because Jesus gave me His own righteous identity.

So when I get angry at my son for running his sister over with his radio flyer tricycle, God sees Jesus, now that is amazing grace.

Anger, Murder -There is no Difference

2008-08-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

In Canada we have been rocked by the tragic news of a needless, barbaric execution on board a Greyhound bus. A young, 20 something, man, grooving to his ipod slipping in and out of sleep has his life taken. The attacker, unprovoked, out of know where, decapitated this innocent young man with a Rambo like knife. This young man minding his own business murdered, slaughtered, his life now gone. To read and hear about the details of this crime brings feelings of outrage and causes that sick feeling in the pit of the stomach as the imagination tries to recreate this horrific seen.

It is easy to see and recognize the wrongness, evil, sin in this tragedy and stand up in judgment against it. After all we all recognize that this is evil. We become indignant, and lash out wanting to see justice handed out to the perpetrator of this physical outward act of gruesome evil, but are you or I much different.

Matthew 5:21-22--"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire." It was Christ who spoke these words putting my anger towards a brother, a harsh word spoken to another on par with murder. We look at this gruesome murder and wonder how God could forgive such evil and yet my anger or harsh word is no different, each deserving of judgment.

All forgiveness for every sin under the sun finds its forgiveness and is paid for by the same blood whether it be my anger towards a brother or the grotesque slaughter of an innocent man listening to his ipod, it is paid for by the blood of Christ. Any sin against an infinite Holy God is and infinite offense and requires infinite payment. To break one law is to break them all!!

So in this tragic murder on a Greyhound bus I am reminded that I too am a murderer and it is only through Christ that I am saved, oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

How God used 'Supernanny' to teach me about love

2008-08-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

It is amazing what God will use to teach you about himself, in this case about his love. I must confess that I am a bit of a tvaholic, but God got me thinking through 'Supernanny' of all things. The show is about a British lady who comes into a home that is in chaos to help bring about some sanity through helpful suggestions. In this particular episode Jo-Jo, 'Supernanny', asks the mother of the house if she still loved her husband. Her response was yes and she went on to say how she wanted to see her husband succeed in life but at the same time was considering a divorce. Then SN asked her if she was 'in' love with her husband and the wife's reply was, 'not anymore'.

Our culture has and does believe that love is a feeling, something that we can 'fall out of' or 'fall into' but is love really about my, yours, or our feelings. I found myself walking back to the cross of Christ, while watching 'Supernanny', where love was displayed in the vibrancy of death and then life.

As Christ was about to be taken captive and led to the cross He called out to God take this cup from me, God if it is possible take me out of this situation, the painful weight of dying anothers' (place your name here) death. Christ did not die for me because I was loveable, deserving, but Christ died out of a love for His father. 'Not my will but your will be done' could be heard as Christ submitted, as Christ lived out his love to His, to my father.

Ephesians tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church, the unlovable. Christ submitted to, Christ willingly put aside what he desired, his feelings and by faith entrusted himself into the sovereign love and care of God. Love is not a feeling, but a decision to submit and be conformed into the image of Christ where we can say by faith 'not my will but your will be done'.

God in his grace and mercy has loved the unlovable, 'while we were still sinners Christ died for us'. We adulterous, rebellious, wretches were loved to life by the great gracious love of God through Christ. Now that is LOVE. Love is not a feeling, it is entrusting ourselves into the care of God and to by faith love like Christ, to love our enemies, pray for our abusers. How many marriages would be saved if we loved like Christ and not how we feel.

Character Over Feeling Good

2008-07-31T15:55:00.000-07:00

I was having coffee at the usual place today while reading a book and being convicted of my selfishness (Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges). It is amazing to me that I can afford a "specialty Coffee" that puts me in the company of the riches people in the world and I just assume that it is normal, after all 2.4 billion people on this spinning globe make less than $1000 bucks a year.

Anyhow, as I was drinking my Americano and listening to my ipod, I noticed a weathered, bearded, rain-soaked man wearing an old wool trench coat pushing a shopping cart. I could see that He was carrying a used coffee container as he came in to the coffee shop (CS) for some hot water. As this 30 something man left the CS I felt compelled to offer him a coffee or something--so I did... only to be turned down.

I was convinced that God's spirit was moving me to stop listening to worship music and live out my worship, to get off my warmed up chair and step out into the cold rain-filled air in obedience to Jesus and offer a could cup of water (Hot Coffee) in His name. I responded to Christ only to be turned down.

I was shocked...how could someone turn down cup of specialty coffee...God why would you ask me to do this only to have this 'needy' guy refuse.

As I made my way back into the CS hoping that nobody witnessed this interaction, I was bewildered, confused and felt rejected. Why would God ask me to do something for His name and then allow me to be rejected? Maybe I didn't hear God right.

Remember I was reading about selfishness and God. His infinite grace was revealing to me how deep rooted my selfishness went. It had been my desire to help this individual so that I might feel good, that I might a have sense of meeting a need, I was the center, it was about me and feeling good, rather than just the pure joy of knowing that I had been obedient to God's call to offer a cold cup of water (hot coffee). I made it about me and God was gently reminded my that the opportunity was all about him.

How deep-rooted my selfishness lies, it is never dormant but I am thankful for God's Holy Spirit that reveals to me where I fall short of His glory.